Happy Birthday old buddy.

Today would have been The Boo's 13th birthday. It seems forever since I peeked into the doghouse and saw what turned out to be nearly a dozen puppies, yellow and black and white, squirming in the straw.

The last couple of months without him have been harder than I expected, but I would still do it all over again.

Insomnia, round I've-lost-count

10pm, time to try this again. After 4 nights in a row where I've slept less than 5 hours, the wear and tear is starting to show. I tried to talk to a co-worker this afternoon, and kept losing my train of thought after only a few words, and there were long pauses while I tried to figure out what we'd been talking about. This is really not good. I feel so emotionally raw, and now is really not the time to get like that at work. It's review time, and I can't be in that state of mind when people nitpick the last year's work.

Tonight, I've had a cup of herbal tea that's supposed to be soothing or something. We'll see. Off to wash up and brush my teeth, and hope to God that I can get some sleep.

Revelation

The kind of person who doesn't think he can tell you "I made other plans" and know that you're fine with that, instead of lying about what he's doing, isn't really a friend. You'd think I'd know this about him, having seen him do it to other people in the past. Pattern behavior, and in this case, he's the common denominator. That's good enough for me. Here's hoping that I remember it next time he calls.

A safe assumption

If I don't know you, and you're some random drunk dude in a bar, and you tell me you think my hair is pretty, I'm going to smile and say thank you. I appreciate the kind words.

If I don't know you, and you're some random drunk dude in a bar and you tell me you think my hair is pretty then reach out and try and touch my head, I'm going to unleash the beast within and send you cowering back to your friends with your tail between your legs, shielding what's left of your b@lls.

I'm just saying.

Forecast calls for huge drop in volunteers next year

So sad... we're not having the official embroidered Poo hats this year. Our mighty Chairman said that he didn't really have the money for it (he was paying hundreds for those things...totally getting ripped off imho). He's an artist though, and was saying he'd considered coming up with a logo or something and stenciling it on painters caps only he couldn't find painters caps that didn't have Sherwin Williams on them and really, adding in corporate sponsorship without being paid is not really something the McD sponsors would probably appreciate. Wait, where am I going with this? Oh yeah, the hats. I suggested that he try somewhere other than Menards, like maybe a craft store? Because they sell that kind of stuff for dirt cheap so people can have crafty birthday parties for their kids. He thought it was a great idea and who knows what, if anything we'll end up with, because then when we were in the group meeting he recommended to all us repeat offenders that we bring a hat from years past. He also made references during his usual speech about passing the torch, along with nodding over to my direction, which kind of scares me even though it's something I've kind of been hoping for all along. I think in an effort to show that I'm part of this thing, I'll email him and tell him that I'd like to contribute a big box of muffins or banana bread or some such treat to feed people while they're standing around. I'm such a suck-up.

Long story short...no hats. How to decide between all the hats from years past?

Grocery Store Roulette

I live in a neighborhood that's an ethnic crossroads of sorts, and it can make even the most everyday activities a bit of an adventure. Each week I pick up one random food item from the ethnic aisles at the locally owned market, take it home, taste it, and hope to God I don’t vomit. Past contenders have included the bizarre chocolate-covered banana foam treat, and foil wrapped squares of something that might have been a butter-cheese spread. Best I could tell from the picture? It belonged on crackers, although it didn’t exactly have a spreadable texture (think of the plastic texture of cheddar cheese left in the fridge for too long with the package not quite sealed.)

The rules: It’s best if the label is written completely in a language I can’t even identify. Bonus points if the label has a cartoonish drawing of the product, making it a random guess as to the intended use of the item. Roulette code of honor prevents me from checking the label for English fine print or checking online when I get home.

This week’s contender: Coronado Cajeta Quemada. I’ve got a fair bit of Spanish, but was intrigued by the cartoon goat head on the label, and what looks like a square of white bread with something brown smeared on it. (Sounds appetizing, doesn’t it?)

The result: It’s some kind of caramel spread, and it must be made of goat milk. The label’s the most interesting part. Meh. Next week? Something from the clearance shelf that's half-in, half-out of the freezer.

So much I could say after 12 years

Twelve years of memories, and I can't put words to any of it yet. I was there the night he was born, and there at the end. I asked so much of him over the years, not least for him to live forever. That couldn't happen, but he gave me the best he could and made it clear when it was time.

Over twelve years living in this city without a roommate, but I didn't realize until now just how lonely it is.

I'll miss you Boo.